My very first birthday was a huge party celebration.
My 1 year old birthday, was the start of the epic lifelong event, my birthday always began on Thanksgiving day, it was Thanksgiving dinner then music and drinking. My parents would plan a party that lasted till dawn, people literally were either to drunk to sleep or too drunk to stay awake, needless to say… they didn’t leave until breakfast, when the food was gone .
Every year since, my birthday has been an “event”. I received a birthday cake soon after thanksgiving meal. Sometimes it was just a song, a cake and hugs other times it was a family gathering with wine & spirits – Yes!!! Those were the best – the loud, chaotic rumble of the family gathering with one another, music blaring, glasses clinking with wisdom-filled wishes, tequila shot contest and again, the hugs and love from siblings, cousins and friends.
Although my many celebrations were all great in their own way, My 40th, Yes, My 40th was both Sweet & Sour.
Sweet because I, along with my daughter and her friend flew home to Bridgeport, Connecticut from Tampa to share in the holiday festivities, enjoying turkey, ham, pasteles, arroz con gandules then, after dinner we all changed our outfits and moved the furniture around and BAM, my birthday party was on.
we laughed, we danced, we drank till 4am.
Sour because it was exactly 1 year and 5 months that my daddy left us all and traveled into the afterlife. The pain and sadness were a constant companion to all of my siblings and myself, you see, the holidays would always put this bright, shiny twinkle in his eye, his smile would be from ear to ear and hug and kiss on all of us. When we looked at him, we saw an Angel, then one day….he was gone & became one.
This year is a big year for me as I turn 50 years old. Yes I know, 50 fucking years old and I am like …. oh shit I am 50 – as well as – Yes, thank you Lord – I AM 50!
Then, I am dropped to my knees by the facts that are painful, you see, November is MY month, MY birth month! Then I met Eric, and his birthday was November, then we set a wedding date and he insisted on yup, you guessed it…November.
Eric wanted to be married in November, the weekend after Thanksgiving and that Saturday was none other than My birthday day.
So, November 27 is My Birthday. November 27, 2010, Eric and I got married.
November 14 was Eric’s Birthday, On November 08, 2011 Eric was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) sentenced to death with a 2 to 5 year deadline, a killer disease 19 days shy of our 1st wedding anniversary…. A tragic attack on our enchanted Love story.
My birthday was always a BIG event. Big to me like New Year’s Eve or the 4th of July celebrations are for many. I, at any age, always behaved like a child when my birthday approached and I thought nothing of my excited, childhood behavior.
I believed all was fine, that nothing had changed my celebratory happiness until 11/27/2017, when I found myself melancholic over the passing of my husband, of our anniversary day, of the fucking gray cloud hovering over my birthday.
How to rise from this moment?………
Magically Orgasmic 