….. I didn’t know how to say goodbye, how to let go, leave you there and begin anew.
I made all the plans before you were taken from our home, All had been decided and I believed in my heart, that I chose everything you would have. I voiced and managed the decisions guided by you, decision you had already made and I felt at Peace.
The day arrived, eight days after you left, and I was still stupid, I still didn’t “know” what the hell to do,… Although, it was all done. I took care of it, it was done!!! All I had to do was show up.
They all gathered in the name of Love, Respect & Goodbye. I am here as well, dressed in white, with a blank stare, a heart with no tears, and a spirit voided of emotions, numb. But hey, I showed up!
I wanted to celebrate his homecoming with a gift of purity, clarity, love… a gift that said: I love you, I loved You, I will forever love you. I needed to shed some tears, tears of mourning, tears of knowing and quite simply,… tears of freaking release.
I released my pain, my sadness, my sorrow, my anger, my tears… I released them to the winds, under the clouds, bathing in the sunlight on a Saturday afternoon, surrounded by loved ones and not.
At the close of this chapter, I close my eyes and revisit this day that I have archived in my closet, and my heart is full, my spirit alive and I realized that I did know, I did feel and I did it all accordingly.
The Blessings and Magic happened when Seven Doves were delivered to the graveside before we bid adieu to him, I chose his Four children, his oldest brother & best friend to release the Doves that for centuries have symbolized the Holy Spirit, Love, Peace, Hope and most importantly the release of the Soul. I remembered that I did not physically shed any tears on that day but I do know now, that I did, my way.
In the wind, under the clouds, bathing in sunlight, on a emotion-filled Saturday afternoon – I shed my tears, it happened……
When the Doves Cried.
Magically Orgasmic 