For Our Season

I sat silently in the corner of the room, in the shadows.

I watched Philomena, the one closest to my heart, my beloved. The kindest soul I will ever know. She is the mirror of Mother Teresa to me, always willing, without a second thought to press pause and serve the other in need. She is the woman that will ask if you are hungry and will make sure you eat. She will wash you down and dry you up. She will love you deep and hard and forever. This precious soul will protect you and correct you and direct you. Philomena is the last of her kind in today’s world. She is that North Star that guides all souls to Life, and today I watch as she crumbles to the ground.

I close my eyes because I cannot continue to witness her raw pain.

I close my eyes and listen to her soft cries.

One of my favorite quotes is from Richard Kenneth Eng

“Life asked death, why do people love me but hate you? Death responded, because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.”

When I read this quote I do not solely associate it with “life and death” but with “happy and devastating” occurrences in life that we endure once more and again. I honor the individual who honors the painful truth, I have met far and few in between who can handle truths much less speak it.

An individual who is honest with his soul will honor yours and this beloved, this is love in all its glory, in all its light, in all its divineness.

Philomena cried out; I did not want an end to our story but, I guess I did want this beautiful man to gift me his truth, even if I didn’t fit his life, then his truth would allow me to move forward.  I would rather live this sad truth, shatter into a million pieces, cry, then pick myself up and Kintsugi my broken ass into a masterpiece of rebirth. Always to remember a love that once was and celebrate the moments shared, to keep his feather and tuck it into my fedora, as a keepsake.

I sat in the shadows, in silence and realized that I too, will not apologize for being a hopeless romantic. A lover of love. A lover of you, my handsome bearded enigma. I release the petals of my Daisy into the wind, along with your smile and your touch, then, I will allow for the tears to flow, as you fade.

My season began and ended with only you.

• I thank you for being my beautiful distraction
• I thank you for the laughter
• I thank you for the intimate moments
• I thank you for the Painful truth
• I thank you for the joy

I believed it. It was true.

For our season.

I reached for Philomena and wiped her tears, I lifted her up and straightened her crown. She cleansed her spirit of the pain, she smiled and all was right with her world ~ as well, with mine.